Sunday, September 30, 2012

Snapshot & A Song - Wake Me Up When September Ends


September has a been a particularly rough month for me with health scares and a myriad of stressful circumstances and events that I'd rather keep to myself. Suffice it to say the net result of all this stress has been a heaviness, a weighing down of my body and spirit.

Last weekend, I was bone tired an no amount of sleep or rest seemed to restore. And there's been something floating around in the air that is irritating my eyes.

I've not been sleeping well either. At the end of my work day I'm most certain that I'll have no trouble getting to bed early, and around 10:00 p.m. my brain turns on and sleep eludes.

It seems to be getting better though. As I continue with the process of paring down of those extra curriculars that drain rather than sustain, I'm slowly beginning to settle into a more comfortable rhythm and manageable routine. I'm not where I want to be with that, but I'm getting there.

Today's song "Wake Me Up When September Ends" has been in my head for the past week - probably because it is the end of September and I'm ready to see it go. Here on the last weekend of September I do feel myself awakening and feeling more optimistic and healed from the loss I have been called to grieve this year.

When it comes to the grieving process, most of us are familiar with the Kubler-Ross five phase model of grieving - denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. Recently, though I've found that John Bowlby's four phases of grief seems to more accurately describe my experience.

In September, I seemed to advance to what he refers to as the "Disorientation & Disorganization" phase which is sort of that liminal space where the loss becomes more real,and depression sets in. Because of the depression, you aren't really ready or equipped to move to the next phase, which fortunately is the last phase - "Reorganization & Resolution."

I am beginning to see evidence that I am transitioning to the final stages. Joy and self confidence are returning - right now in sputters and fits, but good moments are coming with increasing frequency.

Of course, these grief models were actually developed for work with those grieving loss through death and I'm merely working through the ending of a relationship. However, these same principles have been widely applied to all sorts of losses in a helpful way.

"Wake Me Up When September Ends" is primarily a song about grieving. The author, Billy Joe Armstrong of the band Green Day, wrote it about his father who passed when he was a child.

The video for the song; however, follows a different sort of story line. It tells the story of a young couple where the boyfriend joins the Marines and goes off to war where he dies and the girl who loved him is left grieving.

I will never forget the phone call I received last September from my youngest son who had called to tell me that he'd lost one of his men in Afghanistan. As a new squad leader, Marine Lance Corporal Franklin Watson was was the first (and thankfully only) man under his command that he lost. There is no way I can truly understand what that must feel like, and yet I knew enough to know that it was worth the three hour drive to attend this young hero's funeral and deliver in person the message from my son to the family he asked me to convey until he could do so himself.

Today's image depicts my older son Andrew, a retired Marine who served in Iraq, holding a token of remembrance he fashioned out of an old uniform tag to give to the family. Today Andrew's birthday, by the way, and so much has happened in both our lives since that impromptu road trip. I'm missing him very much today.




"Wake Me Up When September Ends"


Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

like my father's come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends

summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when September ends

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are

as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when September ends

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when September ends

like my father's come to pass
twenty years has gone so fast
wake me up when September ends
wake me up when September ends
wake me up when September ends

So, let's link up shall we? Here's a few rules before we begin.

  1. Please give credit to the songwriter and/or group - preferably with a link to their website
  2. Link to your blog post or flickr page, not simply to your blog.  
  3. Tell us a little bit about your image and the meaning the song holds for you (more of a guideline than a rule, but it would be nice if you would
  4. Include a link back to my blog, and using my badge would be especially cool


snapshot and a song







1 comment:

  1. I don't have a post to link this week but I'm hoping to for next week. Your photo and story of your sons is very powerful and touching. I'm glad you are starting to work through your own grief.

    ReplyDelete

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